Monday, May 21, 2007

Unspoken


Just finished reading a friend's post and it actually made me think back of the times when I didn't sound out what I thought should've been voiced out. Perhaps the word "should" is not exactly the most appropriate one to be used, but then again maybe it is.

I've always been the type who cares about people's emotions; maybe not successfully at all times but I do try not to be offensive. Sometimes up to the point that it annoys "me". But I guess it's just me; old habits die hard.

Everyone builds their own ways of going through life based on their own principles. Some are the type who thinks that they can selflessly allow themselves to be hated as long as the people they care about will change for the better. For me, I will sound out if I think it isn't right, but if the person still refuses to change then I won't be the one to be reminding at all times; but I will be there to be on the lookout with a first aid kit so that if the person were to fall and bleed too much to the verge of dying then only I shall help him up. In short, I will allow the person whom I care to run around, fall and hurt himself, and if possible try to find his own first aid kit, but I won't allow to see him bleed to death.

Anyways, there's this friend of mine who does give me the impression of being a little too straight-forward sometimes; the type who wouldn't bend much (or at all) for the sake of simpatico. I have tried sounding it out but the reply given wasn't exactly what I had in mind, at least not from a person like this. So I guess I more or less just left it at there then, as I didn't feel that by reminding people of their wrong-doings at all times was the most comfortable way of handling things for both parties. Sometimes it's necessary for someone to learn things on their own; build themselves up in a way no one else could.

Now when I look back, perhaps it wasn't exactly the best way of being a friend by not sounding out at that time. But then again, my intentions weren't of evil ones and the conscience was clear and the outcome was exactly of what I was hoping for. So yeah, it does makes me feel pretty darn good in a way. At least to know that what I did at that time which seemed to look selfish, even to myself, was not exactly the worst thing in fact. I guess sometimes we just have to believe and have patience and never to lose hope. It wasn't easy, especially when the whole guilty conscience comes up trying to bug me from time to time, but I was lucky to be able to overcome that feeling.

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