Saturday, June 20, 2009

project happyness

to sleep all day

to create illusions -
happy and blissful ones
to wake up and feel the sunshine on my face
to create illusions -
happy and blissful ones
with friends
we laugh and dance
jumping and reaching for our dreams
to create illusions -
happy and blissful ones
all i want is
to infinite this.

thank you (you know who you are)
thank you for all the memories.

Sunday, June 14, 2009


they rush in colonies

like ants marching towards sweetness
a finger is put
a plastic ruler even
anything around us
blocking their little trail
a mark is made

to stop is not a possibility
in what we know as our path
how fickle minded
fragile indeed

from brown bunnies
to little white fluffs
how addictive indeed
to know that we're that fragile
cheap china in our own hands

an endless trail
a bottomless pit even
name it anything we want
anything the mind says
anything at all
a square
or circle
figments of an attempt at poetic depression
as we know it

another meaningless tragedy
like little corpses ran over
our own mechanics
its all in us.

Thursday, June 04, 2009

Jay Aye Dee E Dee : jaded

i wish i were

but i know im not
sacrifices were made
fatal sacrifices

the more i see
the worse i feel
and i know it wont go away anytime soon
thats just the way it is

nose bleeds.

Monday, June 01, 2009


to be dependant is a blissful yet scary feeling. being answered to a dialing tone is something that i fear extremely. what has happened to me? it didnt used to be this way. there was always peace in writing and reading. right now my mind has made it a burden. an extremely tiring and exhausting burden. what has happened? it just didnt used to be this way. a first after such a long time, im seeing myself turning into someone dependant. and to know that there isnt one singled out person that i could fully rely on makes it even more painful and scary. what has happened? it definitely didnt used to be this way. im looking at myself getting more lost and confused each day. i want to stop this. but i just cant seem to find a way to do it. why am i still hanging on to this ghost? knowing very well that it cant go on this way. what used to be the solution is now shadowing who i really am inside. its as if im slowly losing myself in a whole new realm that i swore against from the very first time i recognized it. looking in that thin piece of silver and being mocked back. anything but welcoming. what has happened? 

its definitely not the cold of the night.

maybe all of us are just the same - wolves without a tail.

this thing called jealousy.

its a crazy feeling.
it turns your very core against all thats in its way.

it feeds off every nubile emotion in you.

its an avalanche of unspoken sins.

we just dont talk about it.
but it doesnt mean we dont feel it.

my mind is telling me to fight it off.
stop it before it consumes you
another part of me is questioning if i really want to.