My Starbucks Partner

Current mood: Blue
Listening to: Norah Jones - Don't Know Why

Tomorrow will mark the official "one-week" period of us being away from each other. Your absence finally sank in yesterday. Even more so when I went down to get an idd card. There was this funny, kiddish excitement I had; like waiting for a whole good 12 months till christmas came again. And then when I tried calling that stupid 1-800 number after following the instructions given, for some reason it couldn't be used on a Digi number. Either that or I'm just a blind duck when it comes to reading instructions. =/ I don't know why, but after the fourth and final attempt, there was this whole feeling of sadness seeping in.

It was even worst when I was getting frustrated over the phone when your Shayne Ward song came on mtv. I never was much of a fan of your music selection, but that song reminded me of that night (or morning?) we had in Pavillion; where we sang our lungs out till 3am and then made that stupid video on your mobile phone. Just the mere thought of it is more than enough to make me want to sink in to another bawl fest. =(

That night when you were damn emo at the hotel after my birthday, I was so mad at you for not being able to get over yourself. I said a million stuffs which must have made you want to knock me unconscious on the bathtub. I don't know how to put this into words. Pretty, sweet, fancy lil words which you want to hear. It's just not me. I guess that's why things got awkward as you were nearing to leave. It made me think about so much stuff all at once.

I thought it would be much easier to put this down in writing. Apparently it's just as tough. I don't know why. But seeing you leave felt like a huge... loss? It was more than losing just another Starbuck's kaki. It was like... losing a sister. It saddens me to see you going off as... you. You were so strong yet so weak at the same time. Us being apart from each other. You being there and not having anyone close to talk to. You being there and constantly questioning if you're ever going to be good enough; so easily baring yourself to everyones access. You being the same old you.

I hope you're able to cope well with life there. I wish we had gotten closer way back in high school. I wish we had spent more time together. I wish we didn't waste so much of our time in Starbucks complaining about life. I wish I had been an even better friend when you were so much closer.

I miss you. =(