i was just looking through all my previous posts and realized that there were actually quite a number which never made it out of their drafting stage. most of them was when i first started blogging which was around 2004, and when i first started out my uni life.
theres a huge gaping difference the way i was then and now. few years back, the written posts were left as drafts because i wasnt too sure if i really wanted others to be reading about such intimate details of my life. this time around, i dont even bother blogging about it anymore. writing back then was such a liberating activity. now it feels like such a chore.
i really miss how i was more idealistic back then. how i allowed my mind to wander into whatever realms which it fancied and dared to venture into. it never came across that an imaginative mind was something to be shunned.
now i really do feel like such an old haggard soul. i keep creating barricades and concrete walls around this restless mind. creating boundaries. disciplining it. almost like enforcing it with military rules.
ive put the mind back into a box and shut the lid.
ive turned myself into a coward.
hmm..
maybe one of these days i'll post up an unpublished post when i had my heart broken for the first time. really brings back so much memories. =)
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