Perfection

As idealistic humans who walk the face of the earth since the beginning of civilization, we will constantly find ourselves on the infinite search for perfection. For the female race, in one way or another, there will be a time where we will seek and thus chase after perfection in body image. Perhaps not for all, but i believe in todays modern society where we are being slapped with advertisements, shows and what-not on an almost daily basis, the path to that "beacon" is what most of the female population is aiming towards - even if it means risking it all.

However, does this so-called perfection truly exists?

During my early teenage years, I was one of those who believed that if i had that 'perfect body', everything else would be easy peasy.

"If I had the perfect body, I wouldn't be single".

"If I had the perfect body, I would have a rich and handsome boyfriend who would spoil me with all the luxuries he could afford".

"If I had the perfect body, my teachers would excuse me for not doing my work".

"If I had the perfect body, I would be going out and mixing around with more people everyday".

"If I had the perfect body, I would be happier because I don't have to worry about what others will see me as".

I could go on and on about how delusional I was (and still am at times) and there's really only one reply I could tell myself if I was my age right now back then - WTF?!!!

See how I restricted and scared the heck out of myself because I didn't have the 'perfect body'? How crazily delusional I was for believing that everything would be ladeeda~ if I was a size 0? PSYCHOTIC!

Instead of making me happier, it made me struggle with eating disorder for more than five years.

Instead of making me happier, I stopped enjoying food and became best friends with the toilet bowl. *hello jamban! how have you been?* T______T

Instead of making me happier, it turned me into a sneaky rat who lied my way around having to put food into my mouth and making people believe that I was normal. *nolar mrs goh. im not bulimic or anorexic. i just happen to work out alot lar. hahahahha..* (yaaaaaaaaa... energy come from where ar? drink petronas primax ar?) T_________T

Instead of making me happier, I was too busy fainting and having dizzy spells to attend school like the others. *hello minyak cap kapak! did you miss me?* T____________T

Instead of making me happier, I fell deeper and deeper into the extreme obsession with the figures on the measuring tape and weighing machine.

Like I had said, the list is endless.

Back then, I was so experienced with all the weight issues and eating disorders that I even managed to write a script for my high school's choral speaking group which contributed in us emerging as champions. *like that also proud. wtf.* T________T

Those that has been mentioned were just an iota of the whole five years ride of torture. Come and buy me a drink and we can sit down and i'll tell you the whole story. Story telling time by Aunt Karen. HAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHA!!!

Anyway, I'm talking about this now because I want to be the next Oprah Winfrey who wants to help all those out there who's struggling with eating disorder and hopefully inspire them to realize that the only way to get out from it is by loving and accepting ourselves for who we truly are - perfect. HAHAHAHAHHAHAHHAHHA... nolar. damn geli when i read back this paragraph. fml. ok maybe not the part of wanting to be Oprah (actually its true HAHAHHAHA), but I do sincerely hope that people will one day learn to love and accept themselves for who they truly are and not the figures on a piece of machine. Unless you calculate your bmi and you're obese then it would be advisable to cut back on the junk food and start exercising and the formula to calculate is weight(kg)/height(m) x height(m) and if it's 18.5 and below that means you should have more cupcakes and if it's 18.5-25 that means you're normal and ish damn long ok just go and google it and don't be so lazy lar.

Are you inspired now? HAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHHAHHA!!!

I'm not putting all the "HAHAHAHHAs" to mock you who are reading this ok! (as if there's THAT many people reading) *in denial of the non-existant number of readers* T_____T

It's just me and my nervous laughter when I'm trying to sound all serious. It's a disorder. Says Dr. Karen BA.Hons in Self-Proclamtion. hurhurhur... are you inspired yet? wtf.

Eating disorder IS a serious issue ok people! If you find yourself having difficulties in over-coming it. Get someone trustworthy (preferably knowledgable and credible in the medical field) to talk to. Sometimes all we really need is someone to listen. As someone once told me to get me talking (and later brought me to tears. *wuss* T___T) "Sometimes all we really need is someone to listen, and I have two ears... And two shoulders in case you need to cry".

Talk damn a lot lar today. In conclusion (like essay writing ya children T___T), learn to love and accept yourself for who you truly are. If everyone in the world turn their backs against you, remember that you still have yourself, God, and Aunt Karen. -____-

Okbabai now coz I still have to finish up my assignments. hurhurhur..