this is not a sad post

in another less than 48 hours, i'll be halfway onto a new journey. its been a funny concoction of feelings in the past couple of days. i wouldn't say that i'm sad, but i'm not entirely happy either.

in the past couple of years, life has taught me lessons through different kinds of experiences and challenges. right now, reminiscing the continuity of days since i left high school, i would say that i'm more thankful than anything else about all that God has placed in front of me. life hasn't always turned out the way i assumed/predicted it would be, but He has been taking care of me extremely well.

sometimes i have wished that i didn't have to go through certain stuff in this life, but at the same time, i wouldn't wished it all away either. as i'd said, God has been very kind to me indeed. albeit all the struggles that i've passed through, i know i've grown up in so many ways that i would never had managed to without all that has happened.

this time around, He made me realise how much love i have around me. be it from family or friends. and i'm extremely thankful and humbled by it. He showed me that no matter what, love is always around. sometimes we just have to look hard enough (at the right places).

when mom said that they wouldn't be able to send me off this wednesday, i wouldn't exactly say that i was devastated. in a way i was kinda glad actually. not that i don't wanna see them, just that i think i would be able to go with ease if i just left on my own. i'm not good when it comes to saying goodbyes. i just function that way, better i guess. perhaps it's because i'm so used to being on my own that when people show their care, i'm not sure how to handle the overwhelming feeling which comes with it.

i'm definitely gonna miss all that i'm leaving behind in this short period of time. but i also know that whatever lies ahead of this, i'm gonna embrace it the usual way i embrace new adventures - like the way a happy fat kid sees a nice meal.

just as the title says, this is not a sad post. my brain is just a tad too overwhelmed by all that is happening in this short span of time.

i've been spending the long weekends with a couple of close friends. friends that have changed me so much that they might not even realise it. they taught me that having people who genuinely care for you makes life's tough lessons so much easier to swallow. they taught me that it's perfectly fine to be cared for. they taught me that they are people who won't budge no matter how much you try to push them away. most importantly, they taught me that life is beautiful.

if this isn't a sad post, then perhaps this is a thank you note. thanking all the beautiful souls that have taken a bit of their time to share it with me, to walk with me in this journey we call life.

thank you. :)