womb

the last time i was here, i thought that the things that i was searching for, all the knowledge and senses, the reality that i had to someday face - myself, in a nutshell; i thought it could be found out there. out amongst the busy streets and neon lights. i thought i would come to see aspects of me in that concrete jungle. for some reason i almost always discover missing fragments of myself in the midst of chaos; more often than not.

the past weeks were anything but peaceful. and yet i see myself thriving, paradoxically, in comfort, as i journeyed through this unpaved road. was it because this is the road less taken? i often thought. even till now i still havent been able to see a clear answer.

2010 was anything but a mark that i was looking forward to. it wasnt because 2009 was a breezy year. i guess it had something to do with how all that pain and sudden changes that took place back then, my being had grew accustomed to it. it was like a whole different set of "comfort zone". like how the story about the frog who was put in a pot of water with room temparature and slowly brought to boil and he was dead before he realized it. same sort of situation, different species of life.

dont be mistaken that im pessimistic about this year though. its just that it seems as if i have less things to look forward to this time around. not that ive lost that spark for life itself, but ive learned to savour each day as it unfolds. its a very simple sense of happiness.

im learning to let go off things that i dont have control of.

im learning to be more level headed when facing brick walls.

im learning to stop trying to please everyone because at the end of the day, you end up pleasing no one.

im learning to find the simple pleasures in life that i had all this while taken for granted.

im learning to appreciate life as it is.

hello 2010 =)