train rides

sometimes i really wish that i was a lot stronger than this. that i wouldnt be so overwhelmed with emotions that all i want to do is just to sit there and cry. as much as i hate it when things like this happens, when how people always has this thinking that im capable of doing every damn thing. sometimes i wonder if this would happen to me if i were a son instead.

when i was in the train, all i could do was just to stop thinking bout what was it that brought me here; why is it that ive decided to just step away and take charge of the situation; why is it that im always treated in such a way. because at the end of the day, all these thoughts would only upset me even more. makes me complain about my situation. makes me be even more self-centred and keep turning in circles.

so at that moment when i was sandwiched between the endless throng of people, i just kept telling myself that its not such a big deal. i just have to do what i have to do and then sleep it off. its going to be alright again when i wake up. 

i know i could handle this. i just have to stop underestimating my own abilites and strenghts. life goes on. nothing is ever that big of a deal.