this feeling that is flowing in me right now is only all too familiar, and yet till this day i still couldnt find any words that could comprehend this raw sensation.
i told a friend something that i shouldve said a long time ago. throughout the months, the words just kept accumulating like sacred little rosary beads at the tip of my tongue, and yet i always managed to dry swallow them back inside when the moment comes. the once cold, hard pearly drops always manage to turn warm after being nestled for a little too long in the heat of my mouth.
it happened this evening after i ran into the house from the pouring rain and came home to your messages. there was no use of keeping it in any longer.
they all flowed out like a pink-silverish stream of unguarded spirits out in the open. in a way im really glad that i did it. im glad that i told him that im not going to continue standing for this anymore. its not something that he could easily discard like how he did to the others. im not just some punchbag which you could throw a few blows at when youre pissed. i come with dignity. try giving a little respect.
theres no need for your reasons as they are just empty words to me. you shouldve thought about it before you did anything. the excuse about it being your habit has being used for one too many times. you dont have to apologize. and neither do i owe you an apology for not giving you yet another chance. what has been done cant be changed. we just have to move on with our lives and hopefully learn something from it.
take care, my friend.
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