Beautiful Lies

Sometimes in life, you think you're going on just fine; walking on the path and off at times, but still you know that everything will go just fine. Not worrying too much and not allowing things to get in your way.

But sometimes if you were to sit down and think about it, is it really working? Maybe for a month or two, but are you just avoiding it or is it really gone?

Every once in a while, I breakdown for a while but then I'll pick myself up and carry on. Telling myself that whatever that does not kill me only makes me stronger. Recently I've been wondering to myself how long will I be able to withstand this?

This coming semester is pretty good; new place, new room to not allow myself to fall into another dwindlum of depression, and it seemed to be working on just fine. But sometimes I feel that I'm speaking too soon, because just when you least expect it then that's when it'll come.

I really have no idea how did I cope up with it. At times when I look back, it feels like all I've done is move away from whatever that will bring myself down. It works for a while. But for how long?

After a while, you feel as if you're just lying to yourself. Telling yourself a lie so that you won't get hurt. At least not so badly. But when you look back, you'll realize that it's all still there. So what do you do? You can't keep running away. Neither can you not look back because these are the things that makes us human.

If only my heart was made of steel.

Of The Pretenders and Cover Versions.

Was going through a collection of classic rock when I came across The Pretenders. Memories of those days where I used to idolize people like Chrissy Hynde came flooding back. She was like the epitome of a female rocker; not the exhibitionist type but you know that she's a rocker at heart.

There was one song that shows that even classic rock are capable of coming up with one of the most romantic love songs which makes you go "awww..." and have those heart wrenching moments like what you get after watching Allie and Noah in The Notebook. I'll Stand by You was one of those songs that you can't deny that immense feeling of despair and heart-ache when you listen to it. The best part is that you don't have to psychoanalyse the lyrics to get it.

It's sad to know that they just don't make songs like they used to anymore. All this bubblegum pop and songs of fake angst are just plain annoying. It gets pretty frustrating after a while when you get thrown into this heap of thrash one too many times. Case in point? An all-girl group, Girls Aloud, who did a cover version of this song and what do you end up with? A bunch of squeeky, rodent-like mannequins who look like they are more interested in selling their looks and bodies than to deliver the message of the song. I don't have anything against them, but can't they just stick to whatever songs they're into and lay off the classics? Dammit! Just thinking about their video is seriously pissing me off! I mean, you're laughing around with your tight-knit of friends and playing with each others hair while singing about how you'll stand by your partner no matter what. WTF?!! Maybe I'm being a tad too sensitive, but whatever. It still looks like an effing disgrace to the original version.

What happened to those days where music used to be an expressive outlet of something real? You might argue that these days, songs like that don't pay the bills no more. Mind you that I'm very much aware of that as well, that's why it's a sad case. It kind of puts music lovers into a temporary despair mode of some kind.

I'm actually still listening to that song while typing, and yeah it's actually putting me into a very depressed mood. Dammit!